Alright ladies, guys will come up with
any excuses for riding bareback. Here is a list of pleas and your
potential comebacks
Him:
I am too big.
Her:
That's too bad!
Him:
But I lose 50% of the pleasure with it on.
Her:
You will lose 100% of the pleasure with it off.
Him:
They smell.
Her:
Are you planning to smell your dick later?
Him:
I don't need it...I will pull out..promise.
Her:
My pregnant friend Suzy heard that one 7 months ago.
Him:
My ex never made me use one.
Her:
Your ex is an Idiot! I will be happy to get her on the phone for
you.
Him:
The condom is too big.
Her:
Have fun with the little guy then... I gotta go.
Friday, 5 Dec
2008
Pay with PayPal
Dear Friends, thank you for
supporting Allaboutcondoms.com.sg for the past few years, we hope
you had as much fun choosing the condoms from our vending machine
as using them. With this coming new year, we will be
introducing a new online payment method (via PayPal). You
will still be able to pay using your credit card like before and
you do not need to have a PayPal account.
Once again, thank you and happy
holidays.
Monday, 1 Dec
2008
Men's Miracle Formula
Translation
TCM Master: For
astonishing power! Plus endurance! Men, don't miss out on it
today! (Man grunts)
Young lady, would you like to test his incredible strength? (Crowd
roars in excitement)
Wah! As mighty as the mountains!
Tough enough to resist even the sharpest blades!
The power to counter all poisons!
Ladies: So strong! My hero!
Man: This formula is so miraculous. Can it also prevent
HIV?
TCM Master: You must be
joking! Of course not. But...I have a traditional time-tested
formula... The "Ultimate Men's Vitality Tonic"! The life-saver for
all men. One of the ways to protect yourself from HIV is to
use a condom correctly.
Enjoy The HIV-free Life to The Max!
Learn more by calling 6295 2944!
Thanks to sexiespider for the
translation.
Tuesday, 16 Sep
2008
9 Words
Women Use
Warning to the man about arguments and
can be avoid if you remember the terminology.
#1 Fine:
This is the word women use to
end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
#2 Five
Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this
means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you
have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before
helping around the house.
#3 Nothing:
This is the calm before the
storm. This means something,and you should be on your toes.
Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
#4 Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission.
Don't Do It!
#5 Loud Sigh:
This is actually a word, but is
a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh
means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting
her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer
back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
#6 That's Okay:
This is one of the most
dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means
she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you
will pay for your mistake.
#7 Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do not
question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a
clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that
is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say
'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
#8 Whatever:
Is a women's way of saying F***
YOU!
#9 Don't worry
about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement,
meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do
several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result
in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to
# 3.
Thursday, 11 Sep
2008
Free condoms?
Look carefully. Happy Fathers Day
Sunday, 7 Sep
2008
The Tail of the
Ostrich
This page is from the KumaSutra
book. Download the ebook
from the link below.
Friday, 5 Sep
2008
Biology Class
Mr. Lim, the biology professor, asked
during class, "Miss Ong, could you name the organ in the human
body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times
it's normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Ong gasped, then said, "Prof. Lim, I don't think that is a
proper question to ask me. This is disgusting." With that, she sat
down red-faced.
Unperturbed, Mr. Lim called on Miss Linda, and asked the same
question. Linda, with complete composure replied, "The pupil of
the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Lim. "Now, Miss Ong, I have three things to
say to you: One, you have not studied your lessons. Two, you have
a dirty mind. And three, you will someday be faced with a dreadful
disappointment."
Monday, 1st Sep
2008
Ma Maman A dit que
je Pourrais
Saturday, 29 Aug
2008
Go on, "Ping her A Love Pong"
There are a lot of women who are intrigued by the
idea of being tied up. But when it comes to actually trying
it, they get cold feet. This is a great little game that gives
your woman a sense of being restrained. In reality, though, she
can get up and end it whenever she wants.
Here's
What You Need:
One ping pong ball.
Here's How
You Do It:
Get your woman naked. Have her lie on her back in
the middle of the bed with her knees bent and legs slightly apart.
Place the ping pong ball in her navel. Tell your
woman that she must not let the ball roll onto the bed. If she
does: "game over."
Now it's up to you to do whatever it takes to make
her writhe and squirm with pleasure (this would probably include
some gentle flicks of the tongue around her nipples and breasts,
as well as some serious oral pleasuring).
Keep going until either the ping pong ball rolls
out or your woman erupts in an earth-shattering orgasm.
Two things to remember here:
1. If the ball rolls out
momentarily and then comes to rest back in her navel, you have to
keep going.
2. No fair rocking the bed in an
effort to get the ball to roll out just because your jaw is tired.
This is trick number 46 from the
ebook: Top 100 Lovemaking Techniques. Download the book
from the link below.
Tuesday, 26 Aug
2008
8 Top Tricks for His Hottest
Oral Sex Ever!
Oral sex techniques that will send your man
reeling with pleasure
Try these hot moves the next time you're giving
him south-of-the-border oral action.
Here, eight tips guaranteed to give him the most incredibly
sensational oral sex yet!
1. Have a quickie someplace
unexpected.
Getting oral sex in the unlikeliest of
places is just about every man's fantasy. Up the thrill factor by
going down on him when he least expects it, like somewhere
semi-public. The excitement of being caught in the act, plus your
sudden advances, is sure to blow him away. Absolutely hot venues
to try are: In the restroom at a party, in the car stationed in a
public parking lot, under his desk while he's making phone calls,
at the balcony where his bottom half is concealed.
2. Flick his frenulum.
That's the ridge of membrane where the head
of the penis meets the shaft. Rapidly flicking your tongue across
the frenulum is sheer pleasure for some men – particularly if you
stroke his shaft at the same time. So try variations and discover
his personal preferences.
3. Twirl and swirl.
The "twirl and swirl" technique will give
him an incredibly pleasurable experience and is definitely one
variation worth mastering: Swirl your tongue around his shaft –
going round and round the circumference of his penis – as you move
from base to tip.
4. Give him a hummer.
A hummer is an oral sex technique where you
hum and moan while he's inside your mouth. This produces
spine-tingling vibrations that'll blow his mind. The vibrations
are most intense near your lips, so move your mouth up and down
his shaft while you make "mmm" sounds. What's more, your groans
will give him the arousing message that you enjoy giving him head.
What could be more erotic than that?
5. Pay attention to his
testicles.
Don't just focus on his main member, double
his pleasure by multitasking: While you're licking and sucking on
his shaft, cup your hand around his balls and gently stroke them;
then while you masturbate him, lick his testicles with your
tongue, then tense your tongue and flick down his raphe (the ridge
that runs through the center of the scrotum or testicle sac).
Occasionally, suck a testicle gently or rolling it around on your
tongue.
6. Use your hands.
While your mouth is busy at work, don't
forget to use your hands to explore his body. The extra sensations
can speed his climax. Try tweaking his nipples, cupping his
testicles, stroking his butt, or slowly inserting a finger into
his anal opening (there are lots of sensitive nerve endings
there!)
7. Deep hand.
If he's huge and you can't take it all in,
here's an alternative to the classic "deep throat" that feels just
as good: Form an "O" with your thumb and fingers over your open
lips to create a seal between your lips and hand. This will
simulate a deeper thrust so your man feels like he's pushing deep
inside.
8. Swallow or spray.
Swallowing is a really erotic sight for men,
but the bottom line is, if you don't like it, don't go there. It
can be just as erotic to get him to ejaculate on your body,
breasts or face.
